Category Archives: Best life

The Magic of Sleep

January 20, 2019

I didn’t post last week.  Quite a bit happened in the these first few weeks of January. Enough to make one quite philosophical about life or at least make you re-examine your own and ask some serious questions about how you are living it and what you are prioritizing as important.  The past few weeks have most definitely strengthened my resolve to try to do all I can to have a happier and healthier life.  

And the key to that resolve is consistency.  And consistency requires vigilance, mindfulness. Constantly reminding yourself why you are doing these things that can lead to more happiness.  And keeping at it.  Like your life depends on it.  

We are a few weeks away from the topic of mindfulness, but I just wanted to plant that seed right there in the back of your mind for now.  A small bit of foreshadowing of what’s to come, if you will.  But first, we need to start with the easy steps, the physical ones, the ones you can easily do and track to get the satisfaction of completing something.  The ones that are easily repeatable because they are kind of already happening in your life.

So last time we spoke about the importance of exercise and that something as simple as taking a walk for 30 minutes 3-4 times a week can make one happier.  Μy goal was to commit to trying to run a 5k in April.  The purpose of setting this goal is just to get myself to a place where I can just run 3 miles whenever I want, easily, without thought.  Have my 30-40 minutes to zone out and physically burn off the day’s stressors.  But what’s next?

Well besides making you happier, exercise can also make you sleep better.  And guess what?  Sleeping better means amplifying the happiness quotient.  It’s the one free, simple thing you do every day anyway and it can make you happier, look better, function more efficiently, and think clearer.  It totally sounds like a late night infomercial, but it’s true, just getting a good night’s sleep is life changing.  

Now I can hear you type-A people right now…oh I don’t need that much sleep.  I have a genetic predisposition to function on little sleep.  Oh do you?  I doubt it…it’s pretty rare actually.

How many times have you read, “Americans wear sleep deprivation like a badge of honor.”  American culture plays this dangerous competition of sleeplessness to show how dedicated they are to their jobs.  As if it somehow not sleeping means you are better than everyone else and are working harder.  Can we just stop with our snobby, sleep-deprived selves?  I think it just means you are incredibly inefficient with your time, don’t value your health, and are very poor at prioritizing what’s important. Maybe if you got more sleep, you could really work better and faster.  I promise you, that you are not above basic human function.  In fact every single life form on earth, slumbers.  And if you deprive yourself of sleep long enough, you will not only be tired, but have bags under your eyes, get wrinkles easier, make poor food choices and make yourself generally unpleasant to be around. It will eventually take a toll on your health in ways you could not have imagined.

Sleep is important and you have to respect it’s power.

I have a friend, who is so committed to their sleep, she bought a mattress that cost as much as a small car.  I am not kidding.  It’s some handmade mattress made by French nuns who weave together some some magical combination of horsehair, wool, and cotton, and is sleep-tested by unicorns.  She claims it’s the best sleep she has ever had in her life.  Ok, kidding about the nuns, but I am NOT kidding about the quality of her sleep. When you stop to think about it, we spend more hours in bed than we do in our cars.  Why wouldn’t you invest in a high quality mattress to drive you to Sleepytown?  Fancy cars don’t bring happiness…those are just things to show off to other people…but a good night of sleep?  Now that is true luxury. Brag about that people!

Sleeping is this mystical thing that happens overnight that causes your brain and body to relax and repair itself.  I like to think there is this little magical “beauty sleep team” that comes out at night while you sleep, sweeping things away in your brain, reconnecting broken circuits, pummeling your muscles into relaxation, smoothing out that crease in between your eyebrows…ok I know that sounds like a spa.  But it many ways it is.  Sleep is restorative and when you actually wake up well rested, it’s almost as if you have gone on this mini self-care vacation. How can you not be happy when you are in a better mood?

You know in Guatemala, they have these things called “worry dolls”.  They are these tiny multi-colored handmade dolls that children tell their worries to at night before bed, releasing the sleeper of worry while the dolls work to solve the problems.  How great is that?  Kids are trained from a very young age that sleep is so valued that they are taught to NOT stay up all night worrying about things.

What else is sleep good for?  Where to begin?

  • Improved memory & better attention span –  Sleep will help you get better grades in school because you can remember the material.  I am telling you the sleep fairies come out and organize all that new information in your brain in all the right places.
  • Live longer – Do you think those Ikarians live so long only because of olive oil and mountain tea alone?  No.  They also take afternoon siestas, daily!  More sleep people, more sleep.
  • Improve sports performance – Do you think Olympic alpine skiers are on all night benders before they go hurling themselves down the steepest, tallest mountains in the world on two skinny sticks tied to their boots?  No.  Be an Olympic sleeper my friends.
  • Healthy weight – Are you trying to lose weight?  I know I am.  And I can tell you right now, that when I have good sleep hygiene, I weigh less.  There is something about sleep that helps in the efforts to lose weight.  Maybe if you are sleeping you aren’t snacking, LOL.  But seriously, when you are not dead tired, you are making better food choices, hell, you are making better life choices. Let sleep work for you.
  • Lower stress – Well, not burning the candle at both ends or burning out your telomeres?  That’s a good thing.  What are telomeres?  They are the caps at the end of your chromosomes.  You want these to be long and protective so you can stay young, not short and aging. And sleep keeps them long.  Lowering that stress level in your body means less inflammation and you want that. Sleep is protective of your heart and brain, you’ll have better blood sugar levels and lower blood pressure.
  • And guess what?  All of this, maybe, just maybe leads to making you HAPPY!

Okay, so how do you do this? What does this sleep task look like in your best life plan?  You must commit to sleeping 7.5 hours at least 4 times a week.  Personally I would strive to get these precious hours of sleep Sunday night thru Wednesday night because that’s the bulk of your work week.  I bet you take a nap or sleep in a little on the weekend anyway, so then you are sleeping 7.5 hours most nights of the week.  

Not convinced? Read this article from the National Geographic magazine. Or how about this book on sleep by Arianna Huffington? Or how about The New Yorker’s three part series about sleep?

So, get yourself a great pair of pajamas.  Splurge on those linen sheets.  Invest in good quality down pillows.  Put down your smartphones and just get to the business of sleep.  Just do it.

See ya’ next week sleepy heads. Hey! I see you yawning.

Love,

Kallie


The Power of Exercise

January 6, 2019

Hello again.  I’m so glad you came back.  Okay, I realize that for some of you I just pop up in your inbox with an email reminding you that “hey guys, I just published a new blog post. Please read me.”  If you follow through and actually read my post, HOORAY!  Thank you.  And if you are new here, welcome and thank you for coming along on the ride.

When last we met, I told you about my real plan for 2019, which was to focus on living a happier life.  You know, “live my best life ever!”  No biggie.  Thanks Oprah!  And I want you guys to do the same.  So we have to start somewhere and get to work.  But where and how?  Well, I am going to start with the one thing that so many people try to take on at this time of the year:

Exercise.

You know it’s true.  It’s the start of a new year and I am sure many of you have made resolutions to start working out more.  In fact, it’s one of the top resolutions people typically make, right up there with eating healthier and saving more money.  Okay, so why do you want to exercise?   Many of you will likely say, “to be healthier of course” and while that is an honorable goal, I bet that if many of your are really honest with yourselves, I bet if you read in between the lines of that goal, it’s to “lose weight so you can look better” and I bet it’s because you think that THIS is the one thing that will make you truly happy.  

I am sorry to tell you folks, Yale’s Lauren Santos, tells us, studies have shown that it will not.  Wanting to exercise to make changes to you physical self, will almost certainly not guarantee happiness, in fact, many times it may make you even more depressed.  Why is that?  

At first when I heard this fact, I thought, it must be because limiting of carbs and calories and sweating profusely in a gym only served to make people grumpy.  Spaghetti must make people happy…I mean think about all the runners that “carbo load” before a big race.  And then they are always going on and on about that “runner’s high” right?   (I have never experienced that), but that must be it, right?  The elusive runner’s high.

Well, no.    

Every January, gyms are jam packed, you often can’t find a treadmill at a convenient time.  You start off strong, you may even over do it the first couple of work outs and then quickly discover, you are so out of shape that muscles you never knew you had are sore.  And then, by the end of February, or mid-March, your resolve has weakened.  Maybe you are shortening the time of your workouts.  Maybe you are skipping days and soon, before you know it you are back to your old habits of not moving at all.  Are we sad because we failed?  So you must be thinking, why bother?

Look, I AM NOT suggesting that working out is pointless.  It is true, that exercise, can lead to better health and it may in fact help you reach a weight loss goal.  But what AM suggesting is that you think about exercise differently.  When you think about why you should exercise, think about how happy it will make you.  Happy?  Yes, exercise, does crazy fun things to your brain that boost your mood and make you happy.  It also helps you sleep better, but more on that on a later blog post.  It deserves its own examination.

Think about what happens as your go through your day.  Your mind and body can fill up with the stress of work, daily annoyances like traffic, and general anxiety.  Exercise is the tool to use to burn off all this bad energy.  Otherwise, you are just sitting there letting all those bad vibes form a chokehold on you, creating tension which accumulates in the long term.  Let that $hit go people.  Make room for the good stuff.  But to make room you need to move.  And the good stuff, that can build too and can make you more resilient to life’s ups and downs, and lead you to have an overall better day, every day!  I know I want that.

Apparently, moving 3x a week for 30 minutes each time will help add to your happiness.  And it can take any form too.  Do you like to run?  Dance?  Go for walks with your dog?  Ride a bike?  Be like Nike.  Just do it.  Commit yourself to something that moves you and just do it.  And if you are going through something?  A bad breakup?  The death of a loved one?  Exercise is even more critical for you.  Studies have shown that exercise can help people recover from their sadness.  Think of it as the best form of self care possible. 

Also, exercise boosts your cognitive function.  Are you a student?  Don’t worry about grades, exercise.  It can improve the way you learn and retain information.  Are you older?  Movement not only helps keep your body strong, but can keep you sharp as you grow older.  Oxygen people, oxygen is key to keeping your brain young and you happy.

So what am I doing for my happy exercise goals?  Well, I decided that I wanted to do various things, like Zumba or Barre, but even better, I wanted to start running again.  About 14 years ago I ran my first marathon.  And I loved it.  Now I don’t want too run any marathons, but I do think running lends itself well to a goal.  So I decided to try to train for a 5k race.  And I chose to run Oak Park’s “The Good Life 5k Race”.  You guys, really, that’s what it’s called.  The “good life” race?  Come on!!! It’s a cosmic sign.  This is my race to have my best life ever.  Okay. I’ll shut up now. Anyway, I will be following my couch to 5k program, going to the gym to run 2-3 times a week and if I can fit in a bonus Zumba workout, all the better.  Sunday, April 7th, 2019.  Root me on internet friends…I am very excited.  I will keep you posted on my progress as time goes on.  

In the meantime, I hope I have convinced you that exercise is mission critical on the path to happiness.  And if you happen to look better as you dance, run or bike, well bonus…but I bet it’s because you are SMILING AND HAPPY.

See ya’ soon,

Kallie

Ok Oprah, I want to live my best life too…Let’s do this.

January 1, 2019

Hi again everyone!  Remember me?  I’m back!

I know I have taken a long break from blogging, but I have been busy living life and trying to get it together in 2018.  It’s this “get it together” part that I want to talk about today and share as the main theme of this blog post and as an ongoing theme for 2019.  Read on.

So a few months ago, I read a post from my old college friend, Scott David Moe.  He publishes a great round up newsletter called “Thoroughly Thursday”.  And yes, you guess it, it goes out every Thursday.  I highly recommend it.  In his post, he linked to an article about Yale University’s most popular class, “The Science of Well-Being”.  What?  A class on “well-being”?  Yes.  You read that right, a class about how to be happy.  But more than that, it’s a class that gives you the scientific reasons behind what makes us happy and why we are often wrong about the things that we think will make us happy, but ultimately do not.

I was intrigued.  I love stuff this kind of stuff.  It feeds my obsession for reading about what makes people happy.  Like why are the Danish happy even though it’s cold and dark there most of the year? Is it because of all that “hygge”?  In fact, why are all the Scandi-land countries deliriously happy?  And why is Canada always in the top 10 of happy countries?  Is it because they have a never ending supply of hockey players, maple syrup and snow?  Is that it?  Do you need to have a lot of cold and snow to be happy?   Or is it that they eat the most Kraft Mac and Cheese in the world?  True story.

I am curious about these things, not because I am unhappy.  By all measures, my life is pretty amazing. Logically, I could point to many wonderful things and see that I have a lot to be happy for.  But if I had to be honest, sometimes I get a little out of sorts, a little more stressed than I care to be, and generally a little scattered.  I just feel like I could be in a better mood more often.  And with all that good I had, why wasn’t I eurphoric 24/7.  Was I just ungrateful?  Or is the idea of “feeling content all the time” just a fantasy?

I soon found out that I wasn’t the only one feeling this way.  In fact, most if not all of my friends felt the same way in varying degrees.  Here we were, a group of highly successful people with all the trappings of a great life and yet we all secretly harbored escape fantasies.  Plans A, B and C in case the life we were currently living went south or we just couldn’t “take it anymore”.  What is it about us or the life we lead that makes us feel this way?  It made no logical sense and we were all acutely aware that the things we complained about were a laundry list of FWPs, or “first world problems”.  We all had enough to eat, lived in a great city with a lot to do and great careers that funded those lifestyles.  So why weren’t we suffering from joy instead of aggravation? As my father likes to say, “it’s not like you are barefoot in the mountains tending to a flock of sheep in the rain.”  Point taken dad.

Maybe it was a matter of perspective.  The article went on to say that in a time where the United States had more wealth than any other country in the world, Americans suffered more depression, anxiety and malaise than at any other time in history.  Have you ever wondered why kids in third world countries are smiling and laughing while kicking around a half deflated soccer ball while  kids in the US had the latest web-based gaming system and were just miserable, dissatisfied and constantly complaining?  I needed to know more about how this was possible. I wanted to know why.

That is where the class “The Science of Well-Being” came in.  So in the fall I registered for the online class taught by Laurie Santos at Yale University and learned all about the scientific reasons behind what does and does not make us happy.  I told a friend of mine about the class and she wanted to know more too and that’s how our “Oprah-esque” endeavor to “live our best lives” was born.  We basically decided that we were going to spend the last week of 2018 planning all the things we should be folding into our lives on a daily basis to make a better, sweeter, more delightful life.

I know it sounds like the mother of all New Year’s Resolution and on some level, some parts of it might sound that way.  But much of this plan is an attempt to arm ourselves with the knowledge and understanding about what makes us happy and apply it to our day to day. 

What if I told you that science says $75,000 is all you need to feel happy?  And more money does not make you happier.  If you suddenly made double that amount, you might think you would have double the happiness, but in fact you would not.  You might temporarily feel a “happy boost”…but after that, if you were miserable at $75,000, you will ultimately end up miserable again at $150,000.  It’s an odd quirk of the brain called “hedonic adaptation”.   Basically, once your basic life needs are met, food and shelter, the brain gets used to the new income boost, it becomes the new normal and goes back to its baseline level of happiness.  Back to daydreaming about exit plans from work. Annoying right? So now that you know this, aren’t you curious about the things that science suggests will actually make you happy?  I know I was.

And so, I want to share this journey I am going on, with you.  You will be a first hand viewer on my attempt to cultivate more happiness, or live my best life.  I love saying that.  It sounds so cliche but it perfectly encapsulates the goal.  Follow along as I attempt to roll out a series of habits and changes that will hopefully add to my happiness level.  What types of topics will I be covering?  Here is a snippet:

  1. Body – Physical changes we can make to be happie
    1. The true power of exercise
    2. Want to be more efficient? Go to sleep.
    3. Be like Bruce Lee, be like water
    4. Vitamin Happy
  2. Mind – Mental changes we can make to be happier
    1. Gratitude, the killer of envy
    2. Be here, right now or how to live in the moment
    3. Real luxury = Time.
  3. Soul – Spiritual changes you can make to be happier
    1. Meditation – the Jedi mind trick 
    2. Be kind to self and others
    3. Memory creation, invest in experiences not stuff
  4. Your Happiness Toolbox – a list of things for a happiness boost
    1. Things you can watch
    2. Things you can do
    3. Things you can eat

And so, while my friend “T” is my official accountability buddy for the day to day part of this journey, I am also recruiting you guys, my internet audience.  I am going to take you along on my journey towards living my best life and I hope you join me too.  After all, they don’t say “the more, the merrier” for nothing.  And as you all know now, we need more “merry” in our lives.  Should I call it “living our merriest lives” instead?  No?  Maybe? Okay bye.

See you next week. And HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

-Kallie